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laws.asc
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1998-10-23
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ "THERE ARE LAWS OF WHICH WE KNOW NOTHING..." ~
~ ~
~ Compiled by Dave Henniker from a book by Arthur Bloch ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy's Law
If anything can go wrong, it will.
Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.
Klipstein's Law
2.4 - A failsafe circuit will destroy others.
2.5 - A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse
by blowing first.
Gilb's Laws of Unreliability
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable
errors, which by definition are limited.
Investments in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable
cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work
done.
Shaw's Principle
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use
it.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the
workshop.
The Spare Parts Principle
The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall from the
workbench, varies directly with the size of the part - and inversely with
its importance to the completion of the work underway.
Watson's Law
The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and
significance of any persons watching it.
Sattinger's Law
It works better if you plug it in.
Lowery's Law
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Schmidt's Law
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
Cahn's Axiom
When all else fails, read the instructions.
The Principle Concerning Multi-Functional Devices
The fewer functions any device is required to perform, the more perfectly
it can perform those functions.
Cooper's Law
All machines are amplifiers.
Williams and Hollands's Law
If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical
methods.
Futility Factor
No experiment is ever a complete failure - it can always serve as a
negative example.
Heller's Law
The first myth of management is that it exists.
Johnson's Corollary
Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organisation.
Imhof's Law
The organisation of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic tank - the
really big chunks always rise to the top.
Law of Communications
The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications between
different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased area of misunder-
standing.
Jones's Law
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can
blame it on.
Putt's Law
Technology is dominated by two types of people - Those who understand
what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
Shanahan's Law
The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people
present.
Hendrickson's Law
If a problem causes many meetings, the meetings eventually become more
important than the problem.
Rayburn's Rule
If you want to get along, go along.
Crane's Law
There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
Parkinson's First Law
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion; the thing to
be done swells in perceived importance and complexity in a direct ratio
with the time to be spent in its completion.
Weinberg's First Law
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Dunne's Law
The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with equivocation.
Barth's Distinction
There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types,
and those who don't.
First Law of Socio-Genetics
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Vique's Law
A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.
Cole's Law
Thinly sliced cabbage.
Churchill's Commentary on Man
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he
will pick himself up and continue on.
Newton's Litle Known Seventh Law
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
Simon's Law
Everything put together falls apart sooner or later.
Sturgeon's Law
90% of everything is crud.
~~~~~eof~~~~~